At least that is the saying, Life goes on. I fully agree with this statement however so do the ambushes and moments of pain and remembrance.
I have been blessed to remarry. My wife allows me the space to experience and remember the life I had with Yolanda. For this I can say I am truly grateful and blessed. How is it possible to have found someone who even though they don’t fully know or understand the pain can allow me this space.
Yesterday as we were unpacking some of my household goods, trying to merge two households has been a real challenge, I stumble upon my 2018 diary. In this diary I was documenting what turned out to be the last days of Yolanda’s life with us. I didn’t know it at the time. Reading some of the entries I keep asking how come I didn’t see this coming, my mind asking if I couldn’t have done things differently. Obviously hindsight is 20/20, in reality I was clinging to whatever hope there was. The pain, the flooding of emotions overwhelmed me, I was drowning again. The beauty was however I now have someone with whom I can share these moments, I don’t have to feel so alone, so lost. I have someone to cling onto.
I thank God for being blessed with a wife who accepts me with all my baggage. Life certainly goes on, an it can be good again.